Cold And Broken Halleluja

Here I am! (About to attempt to put my poor little thougths into words) Good Luck. ^.^ I know you say you love me, You tell me I'm your everything. ...

You've taken aircraft and science fiction, my two favorite things, and made them into a story. Major kudos there, my friend. Let me break down some small parts that could ...

I think of a young girl, probably growing up in the 1950's. Perhaps she's sort of... off? I see curly brown hair in my head, but that's just a guess. ...

Kudos to your impressive vocabulary. ;) I loved this part: The sun sets. And the light transcends your dark beauty. Dancing brings your hair to writhe in the midst of ...

My advice would be to break it up a bit more. It's hard to read all stretched out like prose. I liked the phrase: 'find a voice of light'. I ...

The black and white pixels would get lonely. --- Why does sound travel in vibrations?

7/10 -Sounds interesting and original. I'm not really sure if I would love it, personally. But, sounds cool for people who like mystery. Alright, here goes: Brutal murders have plagued ...

Who would want to kidnap Marcus in the first place? -Charlotte Atleast my family wouldn't be paid to take me back... -Marcus ...What are you implying? -Charlotte *huff* Fine. Don't ...

*still waiting patiently* Rufus Wainwright's version is the only one that can actually make me cry... Wow, I'm weird.

"Bubble gum. It's been the best since it's invention. Wow, I remember when that Diemer fellow came out with Double Bubble... What was the year? 1928?" -Katerina. "You sound like ...

I have this cheap little green one. The spiral thing keeping it together is breaking and the pages fall out. It's still my best friend; it goes with me everywhere. ...

Okay. It's just something I had to write for English class; and, being me, it naturally was written the day before. It needs major work (duh). I'd appreciate any advice ...

Line three seems to just... throw it off a little, yes? It's a bit shorter than the others. I think you should make the poem as a whole a bit ...

I know -I can't wait, too. Guess what song I just happened to be listening to when I racked my brain for a username? ^^

Thank you for the complements. I do see now it needs some work. The critiquing was much appreciated ;)